You are like this...This is like that...

It is commonly said that "Assumption is the mother of all f%^&$%s". And yet, whether we realise it or not, we have a number of pre-conceived notions about people and places and things.

I've lost track of the number of people I've met on the internet who, when I say I'm from India, due to the fact that I can communicate in English, invariably ask, "What are you doing there?" or "Do you live there? Where are you originally from?" Why, after so many years of European occupation, is it so difficult to accept that the natives can absorb the language so much so that English is one of the official languages of communication here?

I've read of people from outside India coming here and expecting to see fakirs and elephants and snake charmers on every street. And bullock carts, veiled women, et al. I really don't know what their reaction is when they find high-rise buildings, motor vehicles, women wearing mini-skirts and blouses with spaghetti straps. Must come as quite a shock to find that in a developing country, a good number of people, including fisherwomen, vegetable vendors and municipal swepers, carry cellular phones. Must be another shock to check into a hotel and find television channels not only in English but also in French, German, Portuguese, Chinese...add to that the fact that some programmes are aired here at about the same time (barring a few hours) as they are in the United States. A cricket team from a developed country once came on tour armed with video cassettes simply because they felt there was no way they could possibly watch the native fare. Wonder if they still carry that excess baggage on tour these days.

When I'd started work at an organisation years ago, I'd keep my eyes and ears open and my mouth shut, and I'd picked up a lot of news about people and things that way. People assumed I was pretty naive until one day some big-mouthed lady from Human Resources, having seen my test scores, told them to be wary of me as I wasn't the dumb one everyone took me for. Well, needless to say, my oasis of information ran a bit dry after that revelation but it gave me a good laugh. This reminds me of the time, a few years ago, when a bigwig was explaining something to me and, being partly in alien territory and partly because I wasn't sure that I agreed with what he said as I needed to get some facts checked first, I was not giving him straight answers. I suppose that irritated him to a certain extent because in a fit of frustration he said, "I don't know what your IQ is but.....". I didn't ruin his day by telling him it was 139 at the time.

Some years back, I ended up going for an (unexpected) interview wearing the clothes I was in at the time I telephoned the organisation - t-shirt and jeans. As luck would have it, I got the job. I won't venture into the details but suffice it to say that it probably was because I looked like I wouldn't be able to read minutes leave alone draft them and secondly because (as I found out subsequently) the people interviewing me were taking me on only because they had no choice; the dumber the person was, the better it was for them as it would mean sharing less power.

I can laugh at the above but, once in a while, stuff like this makes my blood boil. When I had shifted from Information Technology to the Secretarial Department in the same organisation to pursue mandatory training, I was told by the Head of Department that he hoped I could manage as this was totally different from what I'd been used to. I held my tongue (now I wouldn't) but I thought to myself, "What's the big deal? I passed the same exams as the other trainees did. Does my work experience in another line make me less competent or should it be taken as a plus point?"

Stereotyping may be based on gender, age, religion, race, colour of skin or any other characteristic and it happens regularly in everyday life. We're so accustomed to it that very often we fail to realise when we're being judgemental. Here, people communicate in English just as easily as they do in Hindi. Yet, if you need to talk to a lady wearing a burqa or a man whose clothes are crumpled or dirty or the local grocer, one automatically switches to Hindi though he or she probably speaks English just as well, if not better.

At the Qutb Minar, last year, I was stopped at the gate and asked how I was attempting to get in on a ticket that cost Rs.10 instead of the more expensive one (I think it was Rs.100) for foreign tourists. Why ? Because I was wearing jeans and had short hair. A similar situation occurred in 2005 while touring Aurangabad with my sister. People actually thought we were non-resident Indians since we were attired in jeans and communicated with each other in English. The tour guide who was collecting the entrance fee (to the Ajanta caves) from passengers stopped insisting we pay him the higher fee only after being thoroughly rebuked in Hindi. After that incident, I always carry some sort of identification on me.

Man being a social animal, inevitably, there are certain beliefs that we grow up with. A few of them are discarded as we gain maturity, start rationalising and develop our own value system but others stay and we pass them down to future generations. Perhaps because they're the prevailing group beliefs? Perhaps because letting go of them would require us to get out of our comfort zones? Perhaps because admitting they hold no water would show us in a bad light?

I suppose we've all been guilty now and then of forming opinions about people, places, etc even before getting to know them and/or the facts. It can be harmless at times and you can actually look back at whatever happened as a result of people assuming things and can laugh at it. But it takes on a totally different hue when people get hurt in the process. Maybe education can help to an extent. Or is what is required an attitude change since unless we have an open mind, not only would we continue to see just what we wanted to but we would also not admit or acknowledge things even when they stare us in the face. Which is a pity, since that way, we lose out on so much that life holds for us.