Someone told me, the other day, that one needs to meet a person face to face to really know what a person is like. I disagreed with him silently.
All the years I've been working, I've had to interact with a number of people over the telephone and/or the internet, sometimes without ever meeting them. In course of such communication, I got to know some of them pretty well. I count one of them, a lovely lady I 'met' on the telephone in 2003 (if my memory is correct) as one of my close friends. Though we've met each other just a handful of times to date, it didn't stop her from opening her home to me a little more than a year ago and treating me like an honoured guest. Indeed, we became friends even before I met her in person.
Over time, I've met people from all over the world on the internet, something I would never even had envisaged around ten years ago. I've been in touch with some of them for years, exchanged views, shared confidences, sought advice, cried on shoulders and lent mine, and probably will go through life without meeting them. But I consider them as friends. Enough to divulge my postal address or even my mobile number - something I may not do with people I meet on a regular basis in real life.
Indeed, I know/know of some people who've gone on to get married to someone they've met over the internet and/or on the telephone and met just once or twice in person before tying the knot, started families and have been together for years. When asked, a few of them said, they 'just knew' even before actually meeting the person and went with their gut; everything else was not of consequence. And then I know those who've dated/been together for years before getting married and yet, the marriage lasted only a few months.
You meet some people in real life and take an instant like or dislike to them, without even knowing why. You may know someone for years, run into them everyday and yet not exchange anything more than pleasantries with them. Yet, you can talk to someone you've never met in person for hours on end.
So, isn't this just a bit weird? I don't think so. I may be wrong but I believe it's about being connected more than anything else. About energy. We're all connected to the same Source and the same life force energy that flows in me flows through you and everyone else. But the type of energy we give out - our thoughts, our emotions, our intentions - is what determines what or who we attract into our lives. Like attracts like. And energies change. Sometimes people come into our lives for a reason or we're brought to a situation only because we have something to learn from it. That is probably why the kid we were best friends with in kindergarten no longer is part of our world now. Why the person who spent hours with you or said he or she couldn't live without you at one point of time left, with or without saying goodbye. Ever had the same lousy situation repeat itself time and again until you realised what it was you needed to know and then things started to change for the better? I guess I'm digressing but I feel life is a series of choices. Your choice now determines how you spend the next few moments or days or weeks or years or even the rest of your life. We really can't say which way things will work out. And easier said than done but perhaps the best thing to do is let go of the past, drawing from it only that which we need to learn, listen to our instinct and make our choices knowing they're the best at this point of time and live in the present.
6 comments:
I'm just thinking out loud here...
Sometimes, you're more friends with someone with whom you've chatted rather than someone whom you've met personally.
Maybe its because the internet gives you a certain degree of anonimity which in turn creates a "if they cant see you...you can share even your deepest darkest secret...because they're not looking into your eye" kind of a feeling.
What do think?
-Ram.
Yep, I agree with that bit about sometimes being closer friends with someone you've chatted with than with someone you've met personally. And I'm not restricting it only to the internet. Sometimes. But not always.
And, ok, I've read that people can share their deepest, darkest secrets because they don't have the fear of being face to face with the person, but I don't really think that applies to me, Rama. Or, if you want to put it another way, I really don't look at things that way. To me, it makes no difference.
As you well know, I've never been shy to use the sharp edge of my tongue whether I know the person well or otherwise, except perhaps concern for the other person's feelings or perhaps the belief that the situation will just get worse if I open my mouth. As far as sharing confidences goes, it would depend on how well I know the person and how much I trust him or her. And that comes with with interaction with the person, your instinct and with time (though sometimes that can take a backseat to your instinct). So far as I'm concerned, at least, it doesn't matter if I've personally met the person or not. Maybe I developed this on the job years ago when I interacted with system users without even seeing their faces and accepted what they said; when I did meet these people in due course, I didn't find it weird at all putting faces to the voices. And I realised that the people I bonded with well in person were those I'd bonded with over the phone, regardless of their physical appearance. Maybe interacting with them first was an advantage in that you accepted and got to know the person without making judgements based on physical appearance. And with the passage of time, you form your own opinion about whether the person can be relied on or not. I'm sure you must have come across such situations too.
And well, with technology advancing at the rate it is everyday, we're inevitably thrown in contact with people we may never ever meet in person. It can be a risk but, hey, sometimes you have to take risks. And learn things for yourself.
How well do you know the people you work with everyday ? You run into all of them at one time or the other, yet you choose some of them the rest and even among these chosen few, there are some you will be closer to than the others. How would you explain that ? The only thing I can think of is the level of connection you share. Something in you that tells you that you can trust the person and to what extent.
well...everything has its pros and cons..while I do feel that getting to know people thru the net is a lot more exciting..i still prefer the traditional face-face interactions...there is some bit of vibe sharing that happend when u meet people personally thats just not possible online...
Well, Anand, I'd like to meet some of the people I've met on the internet in real life. Unfortunately, there are financial and other constraints; so what we want isn't always what we get.
Having said that, my blogpost was not about whether you'd prefer to meet people the 'traditional' way, i.e. face to face, or over the phone or over the internet. Rather it was about interaction with people whom you've not met and possibly may never ever meet, and being able to connect with some of them in a way you sometimes do not connect with people you know on a personal level. Not a situation where you have a choice whether to meet a person or not and how you would choose to meet him, but rather a consequence of circumstances brought about by rapid technological advancements and the world inevitably becoming smaller.
I can wholly identify with what you are saying as I met my wife online. From the first time I talked to her online I 'knew' she is 'the one', we had too many big things in common, thought the same way about so many different things that anything else couldn't have been possible. Oh and... she thought the same :D
Finally !!!! Someone who agrees with me !! And without rationalising. :-)
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